Have you realised the more goodness you exercise the more people trample on you? You wonder why people can’t just have as big a heart as yours!
While its futile to tolerate them in the hope they will change, the sequel continues!
Well, then how do I want you to deal with that? I am here today to talk about how you and I can combat controlling bosses, parents, teachers, peers, partners, etcetera. It’s not like I have a magical formula but I guarantee you success if you religiously follow the following tips.
How to free you from control
Recognise you’re being controlled
This is the trickiest part. We end up giving to the point that our rich wells dry up. I once worked for a foreign boss who used to take advantage of my industrious persona until one day a workmate shook the sense out of me. I had worked for the guy beyond the line of duty yet no promotion, leave nor pay rise was forthcoming. To make matters worse, he used to yell at me to get the job done since he knew I could never say STOP!
Choose to break the habit
Looking at the cons of being controlled opens up a defence mechanism. While my boss benefited from my benevolence, I broke my back while my family and friends got little to no time from me. It was hard for my significant other too.
Realising how the habit hampered my social life and my physical wellbeing, I decided I wanted it to stop.
Learn how you’re controlled.
I figured out that I loved working alone in the supermarket I was employed in. This was the perfect way for my boss to boss me around. He also timed just when I was through with my duties as a stock-shelf attendant, since I was very swift in completing tasks.
The last thing I realised is that he used to praise me before a load of extra work came in which only brought enmity between the workforce!
Dare to confront your oppressor.
One of the most difficult things to do is to stand face to face with the person who pays you especially when you’re on the opposite side!
It takes not only courage but tact. As Romans 12:16 states, “you should strive to be at peace with everyone.”
I resolved to appreciate the fact that my boss saw me as the go to guy when he needed extra duties to be done quick, appreciate that he thought I was dependable and that others deserved his praise too so as to foster equity & motivation in his organisation.
I later came to learn he did all that since he had a problem with bullying at a young age, hence he exerted pressure on the cool worker he could get. He also complained that other workers were often rude and he did not want to boil over as a result.
The solution came gradually till the control eased. I had gotten off his leash while also preserving our friendship. Trust me I was shaking the whole time but I chose to do it anyway.
As for those in abusive relationships/marriages, seek from God if it’s his will for you to be in a relationship/marriages. Then pray him to put you in that partner’s heart and give you favor-place love in his/her heart for you if he/she is the right for you.
If you are a parent, allow your kids to make mistakes so that they can get to grow up by themselves.
Do not get angry when others don’t do what you want. We must ask ourselves how well we respond when we don’t get our way.
NB: When we step out in boldness, God usually joins us and provides the strength we need to go through. He also gives us what to say- he supplies wisdom, creativity, support & willpower.
P.S Choose to be free and allow others their freedom.
Have you been controlled before unknowingly? How did you break the chain?
Drop a comment to help hapless people who still do not know what freedom means.